“All the wonders you seek are within yourself”

Forever Growing

21 hours ago

I want to share something that may resonate with many people who live with hidden or long term health conditions.

My illness is not always visible. From the outside, I may look well, but much of my life involves managing symptoms, navigating limits, and making choices that those without chronic health challenges might never need to think about. This is simply my reality, and one I work with every day.

This past year has brought significant challenges. I experienced the loss of both of my parents to cancer, and alongside that grief, I was in a coercive and controlling relationship that left little space for emotional processing or recovery. More recently, I have been dealing with an illness that has required multiple rounds of antibiotics and extended periods of rest.

Despite taking good care of myself, there are times when even the best self-care does not prevent setbacks. Those moments can be discouraging, but they are part of living with a complex health picture.

Within the past week, I went out with a trusted friend not to drink or be reckless, but simply to reconnect with a part of myself that has been overshadowed by grief, illness, and responsibility. For a short while, I smiled, laughed, and felt like myself again. These moments matter deeply for emotional wellbeing.

A photo from that evening was later shared, and some of the responses suggested judgement about whether I “should” be out while also talking openly about my health struggles. This offered an important reminder:

People often see a single moment but not the context around it. They see the photograph, not the fatigue. They see the smile, not the symptoms.

Living with a long term or fluctuating condition doesn’t mean withdrawing from life entirely. It means making careful, considered choices about when to rest and when to participate in the things that support mental and emotional health.

So I share this gently and respectfully:
Please be kind. Not all illness is visible, and not all struggles are obvious.

For anyone facing similar misunderstandings, you are not alone. Your lived experience is valid, and you are allowed moments of joy even while navigating difficulty.

Below is the picture ... See MoreSee Less

Forever Growing

2 weeks ago

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Forever Growing

2 weeks ago

www.facebook.com/share/1PnhpBtXgx/?mibextid=wwXIfrThrough our healing, we often struggle with inherently knowing the depth of the impact of the abuse, dysfunction, betrayal, and toxicity in our childhoods.

I have some theories on why:

*We don't have a healthy reference point for healthy parenting or love.

*We aren't fully in our bodies to feel it all and are in our heads about it, wondering.

*no one in the nuclear or extended family is fully real or aware either.

But the biggest reason is that you never had a healthy person reflect on how YOUR story makes them feel about your family.

I often tell clients we grew up in a vacuum and still somewhat live in that until someone pops that bubble.

That was my mentor and therapist, who, with profound luck, I found in my early twenties. She would often authentically say, "Whoa...that's not ok." or "You weren't safe in big ways and in the everyday ways.”

Hearing this was complicated and uncomfortable. Was she amping it up? What do I do with it? Being seen for the first time is foreign, and it challenged me to take the abuse just as seriously as she was. It was sobering and scary. But gradually, as I felt safer with her, what she reflected started to hit home. Holy shit, it was terrible, and there's always been a silent and silenced part of me that knew that.

It just needed to be seen. From there, I was on a path to becoming empowered, and with that came grief and anger, which are crucial and much better than being shut down, confused, and not connected to how bad it was. ... See MoreSee Less

Forever Growing

3 weeks ago

I’ve been reading The Science of Stuck by Britt Frank, and a chapter on friendships landed really deeply for me.

The author talks about how adult friendships naturally become more complex than childhood ones which makes so much sense when I think about the responsibilities, commitments, and emotional load of adult life. Add neurodivergence into the mix, and everything becomes even more layered.

Through my own therapeutic work, I’m realising how my capacity for unconditional positive regard has sometimes shaped unhealthy dynamics. I can see now how certain friendships created unspoken roles expectations about who I should be for them, and perhaps who they thought they needed to be for me.

I’ve become more protective of my availability, not out of disconnection but out of self-awareness. The author describes the “Scorpion friend,” and I felt so seen someone who doesn’t need constant contact and who can easily become socially saturated.

I’m also noticing how this hasn’t always aligned with what others wanted from me. Some people needed me to be someone I’m simply not. And masking myself to meet those expectations is something I’m no longer willing (or able) to do.

This chapter helped me see, with more clarity and less self-blame, that some friendships were shaped around what I could provide financially, practically, or emotionally. Those dynamics were transactional.

Stepping back is allowing me to see who remains because they value me, not what I can offer. And if some people drift away, that simply creates space for relationships that feel mutual, nourishing, and authentic.

The author’s words gave me permission I didn’t even know I needed:

💜 Permission to see friends infrequently
💜 Permission to accept that friendships naturally ebb and flow
💜 Permission to enjoy different levels of closeness with different people
💜 Permission to disengage from relationships that are consistently high-conflict
💜 Permission to leave gatherings early or honour my social limits
💜 Permission to step back from friendships that drain my energy
💜 Permission to resist guilt or pressure to meet others’ expectations

Ultimately, I’m learning that protecting my energy, my authenticity, and my emotional wellbeing isn’t selfish it’s essential for building relationships that are healthy for everyone involved. ... See MoreSee Less

Forever Growing

3 weeks ago

People told me I was “looking for perfect,” but I wasn’t.
I was looking for respect, empathy, and care and that is not perfection. That’s the minimum.

When women are told their expectations are “too high,” it’s often because they’ve stopped settling for the bare minimum. It’s a symptom of a patriarchal mindset: we’re conditioned to shrink ourselves, soften our needs, and accept less than we deserve. When we do that, we lose our voice.

We need friends who support us, who remind us to listen to ourselves, not silence us. Friends who understand that expecting to be treated well isn’t unreasonable it’s healthy.

When someone tells a woman she expects too much, it usually means she has finally begun expecting enough.

My eyes began to swell as they struggled to witness what was unfolding infront of me a reality denied by friends and family.

Since away from the abusive relationship my eyes haven’t done this I’ve not felt on egg shells constantly know this isn’t normal.

Emotional abuse isn’t as damaging I think this picture says enough don’t be alone let’s empower and hear those that need us.

#emotionalabuseawareness #trauma #gaslightingawareness #ToxicFemininity #toxicrelationship #toxicmasculinity ... See MoreSee Less

Forever Growing

4 weeks ago

www.facebook.com/share/1Ene5Cpx8d/?mibextid=wwXIfrNo is a complete sentence though 😎

Via @womenwhorunwiththemoon 🌙 ... See MoreSee Less